Four and a Half Years!!!

Well, I passed the 4 1/2 year mark two weeks ago!  Another milestone in a way.  I was  very much aware of the approaching date, but the anticipation of it wasn’t filled with the anxiety that I experienced previously.  This process is getting easier as the time passes, although there are still moments of sadness.  The reality that this IS my life now has really taken root.   The really overwhelming waves of grief seem to be behind me, and when I say waves, they were more like tsunamis!!!  Along with the still ever present moments of sadness, what I am experiencing more than anything  now is loneliness!

This past year has brought more loss into my life.  My rooster Phineas passed away early in 2017.  August once again was a tumultuous month with the sudden and unexpected passing of my cat Bam Bam.  Then on the 28th of October my beloved Westie Fey passed. Although these passing were no where near the magnitude of the loss of my husband, they were painful.  My animals have always been very precious to me and they played a big role in helping me with the brutality of this grief process.  These losses are yet another reminder of the fragility of life and that we really don’t get to hang on to anything.  So now my Westie Angus and I are going it alone.  So many changes in these 4 1/2 years!!!

There are still those “well meaning ” individuals who feel the need to give me advice on how best to live my life now.  Still asking why I want to stay in this size house with this much property? Why don’t you downsize to a 55 and older community?  I wonder if this advice will ever stop!!!

I have no plans on moving out of my house or downsizing.  I lost my husband, but not my intelligence, common sense or capabilities!  Angus and I are “holding down the fort” just fine and there will be a Westie puppy joining us, hopefully sometime this summer!!