Yesterday, June 16,2016, marked the 34 month mark since my Husband’s passing. Yes, I am still counting in months, similar to counting the age of an infant or toddler. Every month on the 16th I get a twinge in my stomach. For me it is one of the “significant” dates. It marks a passing of yet another frame of time that I have survived without him and at the same time a remembrance of what happened on the “16th”! I am someone who seems to remember dates relating to just about everything. In this situation, I question whether or not it is an asset.
I have been told by many that I had to get through the “firsts” of all the significant dates and then it would get easier!! All the advice a widow gets is another subject that I will talk about later, but I have found the seconds and thirds have their challenges too. Significant dates are not just the typical holidays. I find myself recalling memories about days, like a day we picked up a particular car that we were excited about or a day we got a new dog. Any day that left a significant memory of our life together can have an effect on me. Yes the “twinge” in my stomach gets a bit less intense, but I still remember and associate the “dates”.
I don’t ever want to forget my memories with my late Husband, but my hope is that as I continue to move forward, that maybe I will be able to just smile at the memory or even remember that a date was significant a couple days later! Everyone handles the memory of these dates differently. Although yesterday was the 34th month of my Husband’s passing, it was also the 34th month that I have somehow survived. So, on those days when I think I can’t do this anymore, I try to remind myself that I have been doing and surviving this “beast” called grief for 34 months!!!